November 21
Well, I have finally gotten past the block on creating in PSP. So far today I have done about four new graphics and they are all fairly good. None of them are as dark as some of my past ones, but that is probably a reflection of my current mood.
Thursday, November 19
Well, it’s been a long time. Finally got my net situation at home pretty well straightened up, and maybe getting my muse back a bit. Hope to post more often, but no promises!
I was just sitting here thinking that we are exactly one week from Thanksgiving and then it will be Black Friday and the official start of the holiday shopping season. Read the rest of this entry »
Sunday, Oct 18 2009
Last night at about 6:30 p.m., my uncle finally took his last breath. He’d been diagnosed with end stage cancer of the lungs, liver, and lymph about two months ago. There was nothing the doctors could do that would give him more than a week or two longer while taking his quality of life away. Sonny remained able to get around with help until about two weeks ago. After that, it went down hill pretty fast. Read the rest of this entry »
Sunday Oct 4
This is going to be a very personal post. I have lived with depression since my ‘tweens, as it is called these days. Though I’ve never done anything dramatic because of my illness, I’ve always lived with a haze of sadness that was bone deep and never lifted. Even in the happiest moments of my life, it was there. Now its gone, thanks to modern pharmacology. I am liking most of it, but still a bit on the fence as to how I feel about the medication and my own decision to go this route after so many years. I don’t LIKE resorting to happy pills, as I call them, but it seems that is the only way for me.
Sunday, September 27
We’ve not long returned home from a visit with my Uncle Sonny. I almost wish I hadn’t gone. Seeing him like this hurts.
Tuesday Sept 22
Well, My net has reset so hopefully I can blog a bit more often now and hopefully keep it interesting.
As my last few posts have shown, my life is falling all to pieces right now. I will loose one of my dearest uncles, the question is just how long he will hold on. Another dear uncle (great uncle, technically) is in the hospital after a massive heart attack…and has been for a week. My father, whom I am estranged from by choice even though I do love him, has lost the middle toe and that bone at least half way into one foot to gangrene. My mother’s significant other has just returned home after getting three stints put in following a small heart attack… Oh, and since he will be out of work for at least the next two weeks, our finances are going to get even shakier…Yah, I could use some good news SOON. Read the rest of this entry »
Tuesday, Sept 22
Well, I’ve not long ago arrived at the hospital. When I got to his room, one of the doctors was in. Tommy will be going home today, but has a lot of changes to make if he wants this to be his only heart attack. He is not quite ready to quit smoking it sounds like but we are going to help him find ways to quit and figure out what keeps him smoking. I will be quitting once this carton we just bought is gone and smoking outside effective as soon as we get home.
Yesterday we did get some more bad news. My uncle who has cancer has had hospice start caring for him at home. This makes me think he has taken a major turn for the worst. If he’s gotten to the point he can’t care for himself at all, that will be what takes him from this world. He has always been a very independent, on the go kind of man. We have at least had a little time to prepare, but its never enough. I am thinking this is going to be a long rough road between now and Christmas. *starts to sing Merle Haggard’s “If We Make It Through December”*
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Monday, Sept 21
So, we got mom’s check Friday. One would think it would have been a fairly decent weekend. Turned out to be one of the most emotionally trying weekends I can remember.
Thursday, Sept 12
Who would have thought watching TV could bring on a case of “miss him so much it hurts”? I surely didn’t.
I knew watching the finale of America’s Got Talent might be a bit rough emotionally (which boggles me a little), but I figured I could handle it better than what I did. I pretty much spent half the show trying NOT to turn into a blubbering pile of goo. I more or less succeeded, but it was a hard won battle at times. Read the rest of this entry »
Sept 12
Well, I am chilling at my uncle’s lady friends house. He’s gone inside to rest and I just don’t feel like being inside. I guess its my antisocial hour. He does look a lot better, and everyone is saying he is getting around better, eating better, etc.
